In my counselling work with clients, I often help them navigate career transitions, leadership roles, or team dynamics, and one pattern emerges again and again: when people feel overlooked, undervalued, or sense a shift in their workplace relationships, they don’t always speak up—they retreat.
Sometimes for my clients, it looks like withdrawing from team interactions. Sometimes it’s turning down opportunities or prematurely quitting a role. In many cases, people instinctively distance themselves from colleagues or people who once mattered to them. Why? Because expressing what’s really going on—disappointment, fear of being left behind, anxiety about not knowing how to navigate certain culture or lingo—feels more threatening than pulling away.
In the workplace, this kind of emotional self-sabotage can feel deceptively like strength or control: “If I shut down first and/or blame, I won’t be blindsided later.” But what’s really happening is avoidance. Instead of engaging in honest dialogue or asking for feedback or support, we isolate to protect ourselves from perceived rejection.
Over time, though, this pattern becomes limiting. It blocks growth, disrupts collaboration, and can quietly erode a sense of belonging. The cost? Missed chances for mentorship, repair, and the ability to be truly seen.
This isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s often the legacy of burnout, past trauma, or fear of vulnerability. And like any fear, it can soften with awareness, counselling, and practice!
If this resonates, know you’re not alone. Let’s talk. Book a phone consultation and start exploring new ways to stay engaged with career counselling.
